How to Archer

How to Archer Cover

How to Archer

The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style and Women and Also Cocktails Ever Written

By Sterling Archer

It Books, Paperback, 9780062066312, 192pp.

Publication Date: January 17, 2012


Hi. I see you re reading the back of my book. This tells me that you either:

A) are hoping to find a brief summary of what to expect from a how-to book by Sterling Archer, the world's greatest secret agent, or B) don t know how books work.

If your answer was A, your best bet is probably the table of contents, which is where you ll find the contents of this book listed in a convenient, easy-to-read table format. So maybe go check that out for a minute and then come back here. I ll wait. . . .

Pretty cool, right? What other book will teach you how to dress properly and how to drive an elephant? How to field strip an AK-47 and how to haggle with a Thai prostitute in her native tongue? How to pilot an airboat and how to make about a million delicious cocktails, including a Molotov one? How to kill a guy and how to prepare a fabulous brunch? Plus how to do tons of other stuff that I forgot, but that is nonetheless probably in this book (which, to be honest, I really only kinda skimmed).

So if you want to learn more about how to be more or at all like Sterling Archer, the world's greatest secret agent, quit smearing your greasy fingerprints all over this book and buy it. For one thing, I really need the royalties. For another thing, the last time I checked, this wasn t a damn library.

(Note: If your answer was B, this probably isn t the book you want to start with.)