The Men I Didn't Marry
Publication Date: May 29, 2007
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The authors of the national bestsellers Mine Are Spectacular! and The Botox Diaries apply their trademark wit and wisdom to another delicious read. Join Hallie Lawrence Pierpont as she’s whisked away on a journey into her past love life that leads to her future.
Hallie’s husband, Bill, doesn’t even wait until they get home from dropping off their youngest daughter at Yale to announce that he’s leaving–for fitness trainer Ashlee (two e’s, perky breasts, and shiny hair to boot). After first succumbing to an Oreo-induced coma, Hallie is determined to get her life back. An unexpected call from an old college boyfriend sets a plan in motion. Whatever happened to all those men she didn’t marry?
First up is Eric, now an international businessman and number 277 on Forbes’s “Richest People in the World” list. He and Hallie used to put a nickel in the piggy bank every time they made love. Now Eric would like to renew the investment. Next she finds Rav Jon Yoma Maharishi–formerly known as Barry. Her onetime backpacking boyfriend has become the spiritual leader at the Heavenly Spirit Retreat Center, and their reunion would be a little smoother if he weren’t in the midst of a three-day silent meditation. Kevin, the sexiest man she ever met, is now a scuba-diving photographer working on Angelina Jolie’s latest movie. When he seduces her into joining him at his beachfront paradise on Virgin Gorda, Hallie can overlook his gaggle of bikini-clad friends, but can a woman survive on a steady diet of sex, sharks, and air tanks?
Back at home with her best friend, Bellini Baxter, Hallie visits an all-night spray-tanning salon and Soho’s legendary Cellulite Exorcist, whose secret weapon looks suspiciously like an Oreck vacuum cleaner. Hallie’s college-age children are protective of their mom but embarrassed to have her back in teenage territory–the world of dating and condoms. Finally, Hallie confronts the great love she swore she’d never see again and resolves an old family secret.
Janice Kaplan and Lynn Schnurnberger tell a heartfelt and hilarious story about moving forward by looking back. By turns poignant and laugh-aloud funny, this is a must read for every woman who’s ever wondered about the men she didn’t marry.
Between them, Janice Kaplan and Lynn Schnurnberger have lived in three countries, raised three children, and published nine books–including the bestselling novels Mine Are Spectacular! and The Botox Diaries. They’ve produced hundreds of hours of network television shows and written articles for just about every women’s magazine in America. Both have appeared regularly on television shows including The Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Morning America, and Today. Each is happily married and living in New York.
Praise for Janice Kaplan and Lynn Schnurnberger
Mine Are Spectacular!
"A funny, buoyant novel...[the authors'] combination of whip-smart dialogue, spot-on metaphors and the occasional steamy bedroom scene creates a hilarious hit that gives chick lit just the kick to keep it from going stale. As Sara's girlfriend Berni might remark, Mine Are Spectacular! is better than a box of bonbons."
–People (four-star review)
-The New York Times
“[The authors] are deservedly renowned for their ability to document the social habits and favorite trends of wealthy women.”
“Makes Wisteria Lane look like Sesame Street.”
–New Jersey Life
The Botox Diaries
“This summer’s must-have beach read!”
–ABC’s The View
“[A] midlife-crisis bonbon, which should be sold with fuzzy slippers and a tube of cucumber eye gel.”
–The New York Times Book Review
"A book you can't put down...a hilarious new novel offering a fresh and irreverent take on the lives and relationships of women in their forties."
“Fast-paced and with zingers on every page.”
–The Washington Post
“A sexy romp . . . which leads [its characters] charmingly back to the basics of being best friends.”