I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff!
How to Give Your Teens the Privacy They Crave and the Guidance They Need
Publication Date: July 27, 2004
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Do you really need to know if your daughter has tasted beer or your son has had his first kiss? Probably not.
Teens keep secrets. They need this privacy to resolve their own dilemmas, make their own decisions, and start down the road to becoming independent, responsible adults. Although parents can't (and shouldn't) know everything, they are right to worry about giving their children too much freedom, since teens can be attracted to dangerous behaviors.
Parenting teenagers means allowing them the freedom to explore, make mistakes, learn, and keep moving forward. Dr. Peter Sheras, an expert in adolescent development, has taught countless parents how to know when to step back, when to ask questions, and when to take definitive action. In I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff! he explains how pushing for information or attempting to keep teens confined in too small a box will undoubtedly result in anger, resentment, and worst of all a penchant for trouble.
The book includes solid, practical advice on:
- How you can learn more about your teenager's life without invading his privacy or losing her trust
- How to start a conversation when your teen won't talk
- What to do about lying, whether it's infrequent or often
- How to discuss family rules and establish consequences that really work
- How to tell if your teen needs professional help and where to find it
I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff! will give you the key to keeping your teenager safe while building a trusting, warm, and communicative relationship.
Peter Sheras, Ph.D., ABPP, is a clinical psychologist and professor in the Curry Programs in Clinical and School Psychology at the University of Virginia. He is associate director of the Virginia Youth Violence Project at the university and director of the local School Crisis Network. As an expert in school intervention and youth violence, he develops and evaluates intervention programs for schools, parents, and communities. He has been in private practice for twenty-five years.