Walking on Eggshells
Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents
By Jane Isay
(Anchor, Paperback, 9780767920858, 256pp.)
Publication Date: February 26, 2008
Other Editions of This Title: Hardcover
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On giving advice:
They Don’t Want It.
They Don’t Hear It.
They Resent It.
Don’t Give It.
We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don’t call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children—real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.
Using extensive interviews with people from ages twenty-five to seventy, Isay shows that we’re far from alone in our struggles to make this new, adult relationship work. She offers up groundbreaking insights and deeply moving stories that will inspire those in even the toughest situations. Isay’s warmth and wit shine through on every page as she charts an invaluable course through the confusing, and often painful, interactions parents and children can face. Walking on Eggshells is the much-needed road map that will keep you connected to the people you love most.
Jane Isay has been an editor for over forty years. She discovered Mary Pipher's Reviving Ophelia, commissioned Patricia O'Connor's bestselling Woe Is I and Rachel Simmons' Odd Girl Out, and edited such nonfiction classics as Praying for Sheetrock and Friday Night Lights. She lives in New York City, not too far from her grown children and grandchild.
- Are you envious when you watch people you know with their grown kids, or with their parents? Sometimes people put on a good face, but most parents wish they could be more at ease with their kids, and most grown children wish their parents would change their behavior. What do you wish you could change about your child/parent? What annoys you most? What makes you happiest?
"Jane Isay gives us a hope chest of hard-earned wisdom and aha moments, and a mirror in which we can safely examine ourselves and our families." —Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls
“From her own loving heart and from richly revealing interviews with parents and adult children, Jane Isay has fashioned a wonderfully wise and constructive intergenerational guide. Read it and learn!”
—Judith Viorst, author of I'm Too Young to Be Seventy and Other Delusions
“A gently told, achingly honest book about the search for love and acceptance that aging parents and their adult children bring to each other and the tragic misunderstandings that get in their way and break their hearts.”
—Judith S. Wallerstein, Ph.D., author of What About the Kids? Raising Children Before, During, and After Divorce
“Jane Isay's warm, intelligent, reassuring voice shines through her illuminating stories about the delicate, lifelong bond between parents and their grown children. Anyone who has ever been in a parent-child kafuffle about rules, traditions, money, control, or anything else will find wisdom and encouragement in this lovely book. ”
—Carol Tavris, Ph.D., coauthor of Mistakes Were Made (but not by me)
"The brilliance of Walking on Eggshells lies in Isay's uncanny ability to keep our love and good intentions in focus so that we all— parents and adult children—can untangle the unhealthy knots in our relationships before they cause harm."
—Ira Byock, M.D., author of Dying Well
“With Isay's sage advice, we can make life with our adult children calmer, closer and more enjoyable. This is a great read for every parent who has ever, in discussing their adult children, used the phrase 'walking on eggshells.' ”
—Mary Pipher, author of Reviving Ophelia