We Thought You Would Be Prettier

We Thought You Would Be Prettier Cover

We Thought You Would Be Prettier

True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive

By Laurie Notaro

Villard Books, Paperback, 9780812969016, 240pp.

Publication Date: April 19, 2005

Description
She thought she d have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But no it's happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe I m going to kick his hair's ass to the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie's wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking.
Her riffs on e-mail spam ( With all of these irresistible offers served up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW ), eBay ( There should be an eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into the deep end ), and the perils of St. Patrick's Day ( When I m driving, the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens ) are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it's all true.


About the Author
Laurie Notaro was a reporter and columnist for "The Arizona Republic. "She is the"New York Times"bestselling author of"The Idiot Girls Action Adventure Club, Autobiography of a Fat Bride, I Love Everybody and Other Atrocious Lies, We Thought You Would Be Prettier, Idiot Girls Christmas, There s a Slight Chance I Might Be Going to Hell, The Idiot Girls and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, ""Spooky Little Girl, It Looked Different on the Model, "and "The Potty Mouth at the Table". She lives in Eugene, Oregon.