We Thought You Would Be Prettier

We Thought You Would Be Prettier Cover

We Thought You Would Be Prettier

True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive

By Laurie Notaro

Villard Books, Paperback, 9780812969016, 240pp.

Publication Date: April 19, 2005

She thought she d have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But no it's happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe I m going to kick his hair's ass to the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie's wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking.
Her riffs on e-mail spam ( With all of these irresistible offers served up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW ), eBay ( There should be an eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into the deep end ), and the perils of St. Patrick's Day ( When I m driving, the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens ) are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it's all true.