How We Love
Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage
Publication Date: January 15, 2008
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Identify the source of missteps in your marriage–and learn
exactly what you can do about it!
Tired of arguing with your spouse over the same old issues?
Longing for a marriage with less conflict and more intimacy?
Struggling under a load of resentment?
In How We Love, relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich draw on the powerful tool of attachment theory to show how your early life experiences created an “intimacy imprint”–an underlying blueprint that shapes your behavior, beliefs, and expectations of all relationships, especially your marriage. They identify four types of injured imprints that combine in marriage to trap couples in a repetitive dance of pain.
The groundbreaking principles and practical, solution-focused tools in this book will equip you to…
·identify the imprints disrupting your marriage,
·understand how your love style impacts your mate,
·break free of negative patterns that hinder your relationship,
·enhance your sexual intimacy, and
·create the deeper, richer marriage of your dreams.
Discover the truths that have transformed countless relationships– including the authors’ marriage–so you can stop stepping on each other’s toes and instead be swept along by the music of a richer, more passionate relationship.
Includes a study guide for individual or group discussion.
Milan Yerkovich is a weekly talk show host on the New Life Live! radio program. An ordained pastor with a master’s degree in biblical studies, he has been helping couples and families build healthier relationships for more than twenty-five years. Previously a pastoral counselor for The Center for Individual and Family Therapy, Milan now teaches seminars on relationships and intimacy and is cofounder of Relationship 180°, a non-profit ministry for Christian leaders and laity.
Kay Yerkovich is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a master’s degree in counseling. She has been using attachment theory in her professional counseling of couples and families for more than thirteen years.
The Yerkoviches have been married thirty-three years and are the parents of four adult children. They make their home in Southern California.
Praise for How We Love
“How We Love has the capacity to change not only your marriage but every relationship that’s important in your life.”
–JOSH MCDOWELL, Christian apologist, evangelist, and author of more than seventy-five books including More Than a Carpenter and Evidence that Demands a Verdict
“The authors have translated the complexity of how we love into a highly readable and clearly written book. Couples will easily be able to identify their love styles and how to transform them into genuine love. I recommend it to all couples.”
–HARVILLE HENDRIX, PHD, therapist and educator with over twenty-five years of experience, cofounder and president of the Institute for Imago Relationship Therapy, and author of Getting the Love You Want
“Milan and Kay bring us a fresh look at intimacy and how we learn to love. Their practical and personal approach will enrich anyone’s marriage.”
–DAVID STOOP, PHD, psychologist and author of When Couples Pray Together
“I found How We Love to be extremely enlightening: a discovery of how best to love my wife, how to nurture her through a better understanding of our love styles, and how to implement change.”
–PHILWAUGH, executive director of Covenant Marriage Movement
“I have had the joy and privilege of working with Milan and Kay on a professional level and have been amazed at the success of their therapeutic techniques. Understanding our love styles and taking down the walls created by our imprints are skills that can help every marriage. I am thrilled that more couples will learn how to strengthen their relationships through the tools described in this book.”
–DR. ELIZABETH JOHN, MD, psychiatrist
“Milan and Kay have taken their own life experience, their research over the years, and their experience in the counseling office, and distilled it into a work that is rigorous, original, and understandable. If you want to strengthen and enrich your marriage, as well as grow personally, I strongly encourage you to read and digest this material. The effect on all your relationships will be powerful.”
–DR. JIM MASTELLER, executive director of the Center for Individual and Family Therapy
“Through Milan and Kay’s candid stories you will learn your own love style, find how to connect more deeply with your spouse, and ultimately realize who you were meant to be at the core of your being.”
–GREG CAMPBELL, retired business executive
“Forget everything external you think defines you. The quality of your relationships and your contributions to them are what make life great or miserable. This book is a key to a world of insight into intimacy only you can bring to your relationships. With each page, I felt Milan and Kay had seen my movie! My marriage is different today because of the simple, profound help I discovered in these pages.”
–KENNY LUCK, author of Risk and Every Man, God’s Man, men’s pastor at Saddleback Church, and founder of Every Man Ministries
“The Yerkoviches have taken important developmental and psychological concepts and given them to us in a user-friendly fashion. They give us a peek into their personal journey and the countless people they have helped move from young hurts toward more meaningful intimate attachment. How We Love helps us see ourselves more clearly and understand our roles in the impasses of our relationships.…A practical and impactful read for all!”
–JILL HUBBARD, PHD, clinical psychologist, cohost of New Life Live! national radio program, speaker, and full-time mom
“I am excited that Milan and Kay have given us the guiding principles of a successful marriage. With candor and uncommon insight they have demystified the issues in relationships that cause so many couples to get stuck. This book will get the wheels rolling and provide a destination filled with hope, healing, and fulfillment.”
–DR. MICK UKLEJA, president of LeadershipTraq and chair of the Governing Council of the Ukleja Center for Ethical Leadership