Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads
Dealing with the Difficult Parents in Your Child's Life
Publication Date: January 30, 2007
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What happens to Queen Bees and Wannabes when they grow up?
Even the most well-adjusted moms and dads can experience peer pressure and conflicts with other adults that make them act like they’re back in seventh grade. In Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads, Rosalind Wiseman gives us the tools to handle difficult situations involving teachers and other parents with grace. Reassuring, funny, and unfailingly honest, Wiseman reveals:
• Why PTA meetings and Back-to-School nights tap into parents’ deepest insecurities
• How to recognize the archetypal moms and dads—from Caveman Dad to Hovercraft Mom
• How and when to step in and step out of your child’s conflicts with other children, parents, teachers, or coaches
• How to interpret the code phrases other parents use to avoid (or provoke) confrontation
• Why too many well-meaning dads sit on the sidelines, and how vital it is that they step up to the plate
• What to do and say when the playing field becomes an arena for people to bully and dominate other kids and adults
• How to have respectful yet honest conversations with other parents about sex and drugs when your values are in conflict
• How the way you handle parties, risky behavior, and academic performance affects your child
• How unspoken assumptions about race, religion, and other hot-button subjects sabotage parents’ ability to work together
Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is filled with the kind of true stories that made Wiseman’s New York Times bestselling book Queen Bees & Wannabes impossible to put down. There are tales of hardworking parents with whom any of us can identify, along with tales of outrageously bad parents—the kind we all have to reckon with. For instance, what do you do when parents donate a large sum of money to a school and their child is promptly transferred into the honors program–while your son with better grades doesn’t make the cut? What about the mother who helps her daughter compose poison-pen e-mails to yours? And what do you say to the parent-coach who screams at your child when the team is losing? Wiseman offers practical advice on avoiding the most common parenting “land mines” and useful scripts to help you navigate difficult but necessary conversations.
Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is essential reading for parents today. It offers us the tools to become wiser, more relaxed parents–and the inspiration to speak out, act according to our values, show humility, and set the kind of example that will make a real difference in our children’s lives.
Also available as a Random House AudioBook and as an eBook
Rosalind Wiseman is a cofounder of the Empower Program, a nonprofit organization that empowers youth to stop violence, and the author of the New York Times bestselling Queen Bees & Wannabes, the basis for the movie Mean Girls. She lives in Washington, D.C., with her husband and two children. Readers can visit her website at rosalindwiseman.com.
Elizabeth Rapoport was the editor of Rosalind Wiseman’s Queen Bees & Wannabes. A full-time editor, writer, and life coach, she lives in White Plains, New York, with her husband and their two teenagers.
"Wise yet practical and full of humor, Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is a must-read for parents who want to deal with the other adults in their children’s lives with skill and compassion, rather than wrath and confusion. Rosalind Wiseman’s thoughtful suggestions will spare parents endless conflicts and substitute creative interventions. This book forces us to look ourselves in the mirror and face both our strengths and weaknesses while inspiring us to act as strong yet empathic role models for our children in a much-too-pressured and competitive world." —William Pollack, author of Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood
"Rosalind Wiseman is consistently amazing for her window on the real world. As always, she has an uncanny knack for characterizing people whom we see every day, and I found her stories compelling and poignant. Her advice is specific and to the point and can only be extremely helpful to parents taking on the humbling and perplexing world of the other adults who play such a big part in their own kids' lives. Above all, I found the book extraordinarily compassionate." —Anthony Wolf, Ph.D., author of Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall?
“Wise, funny, real, and right on, Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads will be your bible for handling the adults in your child’s life – including yourself – with dignity and grace. Reading this book is an act of courage and love on behalf of your family. —Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls
"Rosalind Wiseman has a good ear and a good eye. She watches and listens to the every day talk of kids and adults and hears and sees below the surface to identify important underlying social realities. In Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads she provides a road map for parents to help them negotiate the treacherous waters of adult peer culture on behalf of their children and their own peace of mind." —James Garbarino, Ph.D., author of See Jane Hit and Lost Boys
"Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads is honest and wise. As a father, I found the insights, stories and practical information in this book very powerful. As a professional, I found the book's basic premise to be profoundly important to the field of child development. Rosalind Wiseman asks nothing less of us than basic human civility." —Michael Gurian, author of The Minds of Boys and The Wonder of Girls