I'm Right, You're Wrong, Now What?
Break the Impasse and Get What You Need
By Amador Xavier
(Hyperion, Hardcover, 9781401303464, 256pp.)
Publication Date: May 2008
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They happen every day--those frustrating, circular "I'm right, you're wrong!" arguments. What's at risk may be as life-changing as whether or not your kid drops out of college, your aging parent goes into a nursing home, or your boss gives you the promotion you want. Or it may be as commonplace as getting the insurance company to approve your claim. These situations often frustrate both parties, stall progress, and hurt relationships. But they don't have to. In I'm Right, You're Wrong, Now What? Dr. Xavier Amador, a Columbia University professor and clinical psychologist shows you how to break nearly any impasse and persuade your opponent--for that's what people become when you've reached an impasse--to give you what you need. I'm Right, You're Wrong, Now What is based on Dr. Amador's LISTEN-EMPATHIZE-AGREE-PARTNER (LEAP) method. A highly successful program that has been taught to tens of thousands of people in seminars around the U.S. and overseas, LEAP teaches you how to turn even toxic arguments into healthy disagreements that end with you getting what you need. Built on timeless psychological truths and new research, LEAP is a roadmap for improving the quality and health of any relationship. LEAP will actually show you how to convince the other person to help you, while increasing mutual respect and trust. Perhaps most importantly, it will help you make that all-important distinction between what you want and what you need. Dr. Amador's LEAP program includes techniques on how to:
- diffuse anger and lower defenses
- get past stubbornness and even denial
- make your opponent ask for your opinion . . . instead of railing against it
- turn adversaries into allies
- create positive and productive relationships
Dr. Xavier Amador is an adjunct professor in clinical psychology at Teacher's College, Columbia University in New York City and is on the Board of Directors of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI). A clinical psychologist who treats adults, children, and adolescents in individual, couples and family therapy, he has also been called upon to serve as a forensic expert on such high profile cases as the Unabomber, the Capitol Shooter, Elizabeth Smart, and the Twentieth Hijacker, among others. He is called upon frequently by the media, and has published over 100 peer-reviewed scientific papers. He lives in New York.
"This will be an invaluable tool for anyone who wants to get past 'I'm right and you're wrong!'"—Gerry Spence, trial lawyer and author of the New York Times best seller How to Argue and Win Every Time
"With this book, you can learn to win those arguments and find the best way to move forward without burning bridges."—Jeffrey J. Fox, author of HOW TO BECOME A RAINMAKER and HOW TO BECOME CEO
"The book is a practical guide to working around and through problems that is useful on many different levels."—Robert P. Finn, Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs, Princeton University, and past U.S. Ambassador to Afghanistan
"It's hard to imagine anyone who couldn't benefit from this practical and empowering guide to making your relationships better."—Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D., author of The Worry Cure: Seven Steps to Stop Worry from Stopping You, and President, International Association for Cognitive Psychotherapy