The Diva Code
Miss Piggy on Life, Love, and the 10,000 Idiotic Things Men Frogs Do
By Miss Piggy
(Kingswell, Hardcover, 9781401323165, 144pp.)
Publication Date: January 2009
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From one of the most famous--or infamous--divas of our time, Miss Piggy, comes THE DIVA CODE: 10,000 IDIOTIC THINGS MEN DO...AND OTHER FABULOUS FACTS OF LIFE EVERY DIVA NEEDS TO KNOW. Over the years, Miss Piggy has gleaned, glommed, and garnered wisdom about what's wrong with everyone else and what's right with her. And now, in the latest book from the Muppets, Miss Piggy is ready to share all of her best advice on love, fashion, career, attitude, and her secrets of diva-dom! And as an added bonus, it will help release your inner diva, so you can get what you deserve and give others exactly what they deserve! A few of the idiotic things men do...HE'S JUST NOT READY TO COMMIT Let's begin with one of men and frogdom's all-time idiotic offenses.You give him the pleasure of your company (plus untold hours of prep time) and in return he's not willing to commit to anything. Mention a romantic getaway, a steady and exclusive dating policy, a long-term relationship, marriage and he runs for the exits! WHAT VOUS NEED TO DO: The best defense is a good offense, which means that you must never give up trying to make him commit. Remember: Never stop being offensive.HE'S STATUS OBSESSED -- It's all about the label, the fancy car, the platinum-encrusted watch, the vacation place in Gstaad, the showy perks. WHAT VOUS NEED TO DO: Give moi his number. HE'S A NARCISSIST - This guy can usually be found at the gym defining his triceps, biceps, bicuspids, you name it. And when he's not pumping iron, he's primping in front of the mirror-tweezing, conditioning, moisturizing and otherwise invading your personal grooming space. WHAT VOUS NEED TO DO: Ask yourself if he's such a hunk that he's worth it. If so, get more mirrors. If not, dump him but get more mirrors anyway. After all, narcissism isn't a bad thing if it's about vous.
Miss Piggy joined the cast of the Muppets in 1976 as a member of the chorus of The Muppet Show. She quickly rose through the ranks to become the resident chanteuse and femme fatale. Her long career has included television specials, home videos, records, and books. Her perfume, Moi, was released in 1998. Miss Piggy has starred in all six theatrically-released Muppet feature films and both made for TV movies.