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If Only I Could Tell You

A Novel

Hannah Beckerman


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Other Editions of This Title:
Paperback (10/15/2019)
Paperback, Large Print (10/15/2019)
MP3 CD (10/15/2019)
Compact Disc (10/15/2019)
Compact Disc (10/15/2019)


“I loved it (even though it made me cry).”—Jojo Moyes

For fans of This Is Us comes a story of a family divided and the secret that can possibly unite them – a life-affirming novel with a twist will break your heart and an ending that will put it together again. 

 A secret between two sisters.

A lifetime of lies unraveling.

Can one broken family find their way back to each other?

Audrey’s dream as a mother had been for her daughters, Jess and Lily, to be as close as only sisters can be. But now, as adults, they no longer speak to each other, and Audrey’s two teenage granddaughters have never met. Audrey just can’t help feeling like she’s been dealt more than her fair share as she’s watched her family come undone over the years, and she has no idea how to fix her family as she wonders if they will ever be whole again.

If only Audrey had known three decades ago that a secret could have the power to split her family in two, and yet, also keep them linked. And when hostilities threaten to spiral out of control, a devastating choice that was made so many years ago is about to be revealed, testing this family once and for all.

Once the truth is revealed, will it be enough to put her family back together again or break them apart forever?

“Utterly compelling and completely heartbreaking. I couldn’t put it down.”
   — Ruth Hogan

“Totally engrossing, achingly sad and so perceptive about the corrosive legacy of family secrets.”—Kate Eberlen, author of Miss You


Praise For If Only I Could Tell You: A Novel

“I loved it (even though it made me cry).”
— Jojo Moyes

“Utterly compelling and completely heart-breaking. I couldn’t put it down.”
— Ruth Hogan

>“Achingly real … The author combines authentically imperfect characters and a well-paced, plausible plot. Jodi Picoult’s fans will find much to love in this often heartbreaking story.”
Publishers Weekly

“A beautiful tale, written with such elegance, heart, and insight into both the fragility and strength of family relationships.”
— Ruth Jones

>“Delivers an emotional punch. … readers will cheer for Audrey as she works to untangle her family’s long-held secrets.”

>“Beckerman is masterful in her storytelling. … The narrative is fractured through time and viewpoint into large, weighty chunks and small, sharp shards, and she joins these together seamlessly into a tense tale that is much stronger for its delivery. … A gripping story about love and loss.”
Kirkus Reviews

“Totally engrossing, achingly sad and so perceptive about the corrosive legacy of family secrets.”
— Kate Eberlen, author of Miss You

“Compelling and deeply moving. So beautiful it made me cry.”
— Marian Keyes

“An emotionally devastating novel. So compelling that I read it, cover to cover, in a single day.”
— John Boyne, author of The Heart’s Invisible Furies

“An emotionally engaging, clever, and wonderfully satisfying novel--proper storytelling at its finest.
— Kate Mosse, author of The Burning Chambers

William Morrow, 9780062952189, 368pp.

Publication Date: October 15, 2019

About the Author

Hannah Beckerman studied English at King's College (London) for her undergraduate degree, and at Queen Mary  and Westfield (London) for her master's degree. She spent twelve years working in television, first as a producer for the BBC and subsequently as a commissioning editor for arts and documentaries at Channel 4 and the Discovery Channel USA. She lived in Bangladesh for two years, working for the BBC World Service Trust. She is now a full-time author and journalist as well as a book critic and features writer for the Observer, the FT Weekend Magazine and the Sunday Express. She is also a regular chair at literary festivals and events and has been a judge for numerous book prizes including the Costa Book Awards. If Only I Could Tell You is Hannah's second novel. She lives in London with her husband and daughter.