The Dolphin Way (Hardcover)

A Parent's Guide to Raising Healthy, Happy, and Motivated Kids--Without Turning Into a Tiger

By Shimi K. Kang

Tarcher, 9780399166044, 334pp.

Publication Date: May 1, 2014



In this inspiring book, Harvard-trained child and adult psychiatrist and expert in human motivation Dr. Shimi Kang provides a guide to the art and science of inspiring children to develop their own internal drive and a lifelong love of learning. Drawing on the latest neuroscience and behavioral research, Dr. Kang shows why pushy tiger parents and permissive jellyfish parents actually hinder self-motivation. She proposes a powerful new parenting model: the intelligent, joyful, playful, highly social dolphin. Dolphin parents focus on maintaining balance in their children's lives to gently yet authoritatively guide them toward lasting health, happiness, and success.
As the medical director for Child and Youth Mental Health community programs in Vancouver, British Columbia, Dr. Kang has witnessed firsthand the consequences of parental pressure: anxiety disorders, high stress levels, suicides, and addictions. As the mother of three children and as the daughter of immigrant parents who struggled to give their children the best in life Dr. Kang's mother could not read and her father taught her math while they drove around in his taxicab Dr. Kang argues that often the simplest benefits we give our children are the most valuable. By trusting our deepest intuitions about what is best for our kids, we will in turn allow them to develop key dolphin traits to enable them to thrive in an increasingly complex world: adaptability, community-mindedness, creativity, and critical thinking.
Life is a journey through ever-changing waters, and dolphin parents know that the most valuable help we can give our children is to assist them in developing their own inner compass. Combining irrefutable science with unforgettable real-life stories, The Dolphin Way walks readers through Dr. Kang's four-part method for cultivating self-motivation. The book makes a powerful case that we are not forced to choose between being permissive or controlling. The third option the option that will prepare our kids for success in a future that will require adaptability is the dolphin way.

About the Author

Shimi Kang, M.D., is the medical director for Child and Youth Mental Health for Vancouver and a clinical associate professor at the University of British Columbia. Dr. Kang has helped hundred of children, adolescents, and parents move toward positive behaviors and better mental health.

Praise For The Dolphin Way: A Parent's Guide to Raising Healthy, Happy, and Motivated Kids--Without Turning Into a Tiger

“With insight, professional expertise and unfailing instinct, Dr. Shimi Kang provides essential guidance in restoring sanity to 21st Century parenting. Compassionate to parent and child, loving and reasoned in its approach, The Dolphin Way is highly readable, emotionally nurturing and intellectually satisfying.
—Gabor Maté, M.D., co-author of Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers
“If you're looking for effective but practical strategies to calm the chaos in your kids' lives, foster their internal motivation and truly prepare them to function successfully in the adult work - read this book! Using concrete evidence, Dr. Kang shows why “Tiger” approaches to parenting do more harm than good. Her Dolphin approach will have you and your kids cheering.  Highly recommended!”
—Amy McCready, Founder of and author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time...The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling
"In The Dolphin Way, Dr. Shimi Kang writes insightfully of the real lives of parents, weaving science with spirit, and embedding highly practical suggestions into every chapter. I highly recommend this book!"
—Michael Gurian, author of The Wonder of Boys and The Wonder of Girls
“Ready to give your kids back their childhood—the part YOU loved? The joy? The creativity? The afternoons you still remember with such longing? If you're driving your kid to the lessons neither of you likes, instead of giving yourselves BOTH a chance to relax, play or just ‘waste’ time, it's time to turn around the car. This book is your U-turn to joy.”
—Lenore Skenazy, author of the book and founder of the blog Free-Range Kids

"The Dolphin Way is an excellent parenting tool to implement in our daily life to help guide our children to be happy and healthy. She focus on adaptability and uses fantastic resources and examples from her own experience to solidify her case. An excellent read through and through. The Dolphin Way is a parenting guide that every home should own."
—Working Mommy Journal