With and Without Her (Paperback)

A Memoir of Being and Losing a Twin

By Dorothy Foltz-Gray

Argo-Navis, 9780786754205, 197pp.

Publication Date: October 2, 2012

List Price: 21.00*
* Individual store prices may vary.


This is a story that, when told directly, shuts people up, the kind of story that drives people to change the subject, or cross the street when they see the teller coming. In 1949, author Dorothy Foltz-Gray and her identical twin sister, Deane, were born. In 1981, Deane, then a psychologist, was fatally shot by one of her patients. In the years between, the pair formed an almost supernaturally close bond, one so intimate that at times, their memories fused and their individual identities dimmed.
Here, Foltz-Gray, an award-winning poet and journalist, recounts not only the extraordinary phenomenon of growing up in a world that could not distinguish her from another human being, but also the struggle to survive the loss of her twin. Foltz-Gray describes the imagined womb life she and her sister shared, their childhood and family, and their dreams of sharing each other’s lives. She also details the nightmare of her sister’s death, its immediate aftermath, and her attempts to recover her self.
With and Without Her is the story of what happens when a life divides into before and after. It is a story of identity and individuation, confusion and competition, intimacy and separation, violence and murder. Most of all, it is the story we all face, of loss and survival.

About the Author

Dorothy Foltz-Gray has been a freelance writer and editor specializing in health, fitness, food, and personal essays for 18 years. A former editor of books (business and medical) and magazines (fiction, lifestyle) at Whittle Communications in Knoxville, Tennessee, she is the author of "With and Without Her"; "Clean Sweep"; "Make Pain Disappear"; "Alternative Treatments for Arthritis: An A to Z Guide"; and co-author of "Food Cures." Her work has appeared in "Bon Appetit"; "Cooking Light"; "Good Housekeeping"; "Health"; "Ladies Home Journal"; "Parenting"; "Prevention"; "O, The Oprah Magazine"; "Reader's Digest"; "Real Simple"; "Woman's Day"; and others. She is a winner of the Tennessee Arts Comission Fellowship for Poetry; a Mature Media Gold Award; and an East Tennessee Society of Professional Journalists Award of Excellence. She lives in Asheville, North Carolina, with her husband, Dan.