Where I Live Now (Hardcover)

A Journey through Love and Loss to Healing and Hope

By Sharon Butala

Simon & Schuster, 9781476790480, 192pp.

Publication Date: April 4, 2017

Other Editions of This Title:
Paperback (1/1/2019)

List Price: 23.00*
* Individual store prices may vary.


An intimate and uplifting book about finding renewal and hope through grief and loss.

“It was a terrible life; it was an enchanted life; it was a blessed life. And, of course, one day it ended.” —Sharon Butala

In the tradition of Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking, Diana Athill’s Somewhere Towards the End, and Atul Gawande’s Being Mortal comes a revelatory new book from one of our beloved writers.

When Sharon Butala’s husband, Peter, died unexpectedly, she found herself with no place to call home. Torn by grief and loss, she fled the ranchlands of southwest Saskatchewan and moved to the city, leaving almost everything behind. A lifetime of possessions was reduced to a few boxes of books, clothes, and keepsakes. But a lifetime of experience went with her, and a limitless well of memory—of personal failures, of a marriage that everybody said would not last but did, of the unbreakable bonds of family.

Reinventing herself in an urban landscape was painful, and facing her new life as a widow tested her very being. Yet out of this hard-won new existence comes an astonishingly frank, compassionate and moving memoir that offers not only solace and hope but inspiration to those who endure profound loss.

Often called one of this country’s true visionaries, Sharon Butala shares her insights into the grieving process and reveals the small triumphs and funny moments that kept her going. Where I Live Now is profound in its understanding of the many homes women must build for themselves in a lifetime.

About the Author

Sharon Butala is an award-winning and bestselling author of both fiction and nonfiction. Her classic book The Perfection of the Morning was a #1 bestseller and a finalist for the Governor General’s Award. Fever, a short story collection, won the 1992 Authors’ Award for Paperback Fiction and was shortlisted for the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize for best book (Canada and Caribbean region). Her latest novel, Wild Rose, was published in 2015 and has been shortlisted for the W.O. Mitchell Book Prize. Butala is a recipient of the Marian Engel Award, the Saskatchewan Order of Merit, and the 2012 Cheryl and Henry Kloppenburg Award for Literary Excellence. In 2002 she became an Officer of the Order of Canada. A brilliant speaker who is much in demand, she lives in Calgary, Alberta. Visit her at SharonButala.com.

Praise For Where I Live Now: A Journey through Love and Loss to Healing and Hope

My heart cracks with what I have lost. With these words, Sharon Butala expresses the pain of losing her husband and her spiritual home in the grasslands of southwestern Saskatchewan. This beautiful, sorrowful elegy to Peter and the land of which they were stewards is filled with wisdom, and is truly a gift to her readers. I loved this book.”
— Dianne Warren, Governor General's Award–winning author of Cool Water

“Honest as ever, Sharon Butala spares nothing in this account of life without her husband . . . a heart-wrenching and heart-opening book.”
— Marina Endicott, bestselling author of Close to Hugh

“This is what we have come to expect from Sharon Butala. An articulation of love, hard and true and honest. A consistent attempt to probe and comprehend the life and land around her, the mystery of spirit, of nature, the meaning of grief.  I was moved to tears by Butala’s strong, sure voice.”
— Frances Itani, Giller Prize–shortlisted author of Tell

“In this masterful and achingly beautiful memoir, Sharon Butala seeks to answer the question ‘What is a human life worth?’ She makes discoveries about the ancient connection between land, history, animals, humans, time and spirit with an insight that is almost impossible to put into words. This is a book that chronicles a life of exploration into the inner self, the outer natural world and the intricate, ineffable connection between the two.”
— Joan Crate, acclaimed author of Black Apple


“One of the most perceptive and moving meditations ever written…on that mysterious and often misunderstood presence that we call nature.”
— Maclean's

The Perfection of the Morning speaks of the peace to be had by simply walking and listening in nature…  We could use eloquent guides to get us there, guides such as Sharon Butala.”
— The Globe and Mail


"Few readers will be immune to the appeal of Butala’s memoir, with its evocation of a beautiful landscape and a demanding but rewarding way of life.”
— Toronto Star


“A meditation so hauntingly intense that it will touch and connect all those who read it.”
— The Globe and Mail

“A striking new book . . . perhaps among the finest in Butala’s impressive body of work.”
— National Post