Blackout (Digital Audiobook)

Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget

By Sarah Hepola, Sarah Hepola (Narrator)

Publication Date: June 22, 2015

Other Editions of This Title:
Hardcover (6/23/2015)
Paperback (6/7/2016)
CD-Audio (6/23/2015)


For Sarah Hepola, alcohol was "the gasoline of all adventure." She spent her evenings at cocktail parties and dark bars where she proudly stayed till last call. Drinking felt like freedom, part of her birthright as a strong, enlightened twenty-first-century woman.

But there was a price. She often blacked out, waking up with a blank space where four hours should be. Mornings became detective work on her own life. What did I say last night? How did I meet that guy? She apologized for things she couldn't remember doing, as though she were cleaning up after an evil twin. Publicly, she covered her shame with self-deprecating jokes, and her career flourished, but as the blackouts accumulated, she could no longer avoid a sinking truth. The fuel she thought she needed was draining her spirit instead.

A memoir of unblinking honesty and poignant, laugh-out-loud humor, BLACKOUT is the story of a woman stumbling into a new kind of adventure--the sober life she never wanted. Shining a light into her blackouts, she discovers the person she buried, as well as the confidence, intimacy, and creativity she once believed came only from a bottle. Her tale will resonate with anyone who has been forced to reinvent or struggled in the face of necessary change. It's about giving up the thing you cherish most--but getting yourself back in return.

About the Author

Sarah Hepola is the personal essays editor at Her writing has appeared in the New York Times Magazine, The New Republic, Glamour, Slate, The Guardian, and The Morning News. She has worked as a music critic, travel writer, film reviewer, sex blogger, beauty columnist and, ever so briefly, as a high school English teacher. She lives in Dallas.