Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on television.

She has seen both of those dreams come true.

At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on "Saturday Night Live"; from her passionately halfhearted pursuit of physical beauty to her life as a mother eating things off the floor; from her one-sided college romance to her nearly fatal honeymoon from the beginning of this paragraph to this final sentence.

Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we ve all suspected: you re no one until someone calls you bossy.

Includes special, never-before-solicited opinions on breastfeeding, princesses, Photoshop, the electoral process, and Italian rum cake